Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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