just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
