Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
