You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
