Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
