he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
