So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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