My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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