This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
