You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
