Duck Duck Cougar?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
