ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
