Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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