There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
