I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
this will be a night to untag.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
