he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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