I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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