OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
