I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
