hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
