He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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