only if we run a train.
done.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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