Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
