is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
