I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
