SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
