do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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