why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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