if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
