About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
