Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This is the high leading the old right now
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
