You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
