That's intense
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
