No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
