it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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