You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
