I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
