i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
