I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
