escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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