I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
