it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
