how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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