Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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