You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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