Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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