my sisters under your porch take her home
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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