I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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