She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
