Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I queefed so loud it echoed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
