good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
