We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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