I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
