Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
