She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
