4 words: hood of his car
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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