hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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