Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize