i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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