turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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