Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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