..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
