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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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