i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
