Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
