Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
